Finding the Strength Within

June 3, 2018

 

 

 


Have you ever taken time to reflect on your life’s purpose, mission, goals or the pathway you should be following? Many people ask the question through the various turning points in their life. Almost every client I see ask this question in one form or another. Sometimes they ask why and how did they get into a particular situation? They always ask how to change or stop a behavior that they feel is undesirable. Most people are not looking at life from the right perspective. Some are measuring their success with the accomplishments of others. We were all put on this earth to make special contributions and to help others. We all have different gifts and abilities and that is what makes us unique individuals. We all have natural born talents and spiritual gifts and none of us operate without our intrinsic instincts and passions.

 

A turning point is a time in your life when you decide to develop, grow, and face challenges from a different lens. The turning point is that moment when you realize that you must do something different. Most turning points are the result of a loss that an individual face; a break-up, death, loss of employment, or finances turned upside down. In these turning point moments you will either gather your bearings and keep pushing forward or you will wallow in your own destructive behaviors. Now you don’t always have a choice in life because we are not the Creator of the universe and you can never control the actions of others. However, because of the blessings that are on all of our lives we have a choice in how we respond to the challenges we face.

 

No one is exempt from facing challenges. As a Licensed Professional Counselor and creature of the divine one, I am able to reflect on my difficulties and take on the perspective of having faith in a higher being, which is God in my opinion. The divine gifts I have are talking, listening, advising, comforting, and being a helper. These divine gifts are a natural part of who I am and I have challenged myself lately to look at them differently. I use to think these were just my natural talents, however they are my gifts to others, church and the world. I often meet with clients that are at their turning points, dealing with abuse, anxiety, addictions, depression, parenting and other life choices that they feel are a challenges. As a therapist it is my belief that all are capable of overcoming but they must believe they have the power to do so. A test of faith is to be in the center of a storm and remain confident that the solution is on the way.

 

My client was 18 years old when she married a much older man. She was distant from her parents and family and living in another state. She married a person of prominence and was relocated to a state about six hours from home. The man appeared to be loving and kind, but once they married and moved away that is when the abuse started. She was afraid and didn’t tell anyone that she was being physically abused. No one believed that the man was capable of being abusive because he was favored by so many people. She was also loved and respected by her friends and family. She eventually sought counseling and asked her therapist if a man only hits you a few times is that okay? She also felt responsible because she thought if she did something her husband did not like, she would make him mad. Once she came to therapy, she was informed that domestic violence usually gets worse and that it can also result in death. She spent the night in a shelter in fear but eventually went back because she felt she had no where to go. The therapist in me told her to make a plan if she intended to escape her relationship and that she might have to act quickly to get away from her abuser.  She never felt he had the right to hit her, but she was troubled by her Christian beliefs that once you married you had to stay forever and that meant she had to stay in an abusive relationship. 

 

The abuse in her mind wasn’t that bad until one day he knocked the wind out of her, tried to stomp her and was accusing her of cheating with another man that she worked with. She was at her turning point when he knocked the wind out of her and she had to call the police and the police came and asked her to leave instead of the perpetrator of her abuse. She was hysterical and crying so the police, without proper training asked her to leave and leave her 18-month old daughter with the man who had knocked the wind out of her, bruised her ribs, her body and her heart. She left that night and sheltered with a couple she had meet in college and the next day while he was at work, she went back home packed her clothes and her daughters and drove to the man’s place of employment, got her child and drove for the first time six hours to her parent’s house. She finally gathered her courage and found the strength to change her life and turn things around. Have you ever had to make a change? Have you ever been at the point where you knew a breakthrough was eminent? What choices did you make? How were you able to turn the corner, change the direction of your life? Perhaps it was abuse, addiction, grief, confusion, poor decisions, or unhappiness? What did you do? How did you get the strength? Remember we all have a divine purpose in this world.

 

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence- Domestic violence is the willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior as part of a systematic pattern of power and control perpetrated by one intimate partner against another. It includes physical violence, sexual violence, psychological violence, and emotional abuse. The frequency and severity of domestic violence can vary dramatically; however, the one constant component of domestic violence is one partner’s consistent efforts to maintain power and control over the other.  You are not alone even if you feel you are. You can receive help to turn your 

life around and end the cycle of abuse.


If you are in an abusive relationship and need help please contact a therapist for assistance and or the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence Hotline for help 1-800-799-7233, Haven House a local resource at 877-922-1274 or First Step for Domestic Violence Help at (734) 416-1111. You may also contact me at empoweringserentiy@gmail.com and (248) 834-2614 for help. You can make a change! You can turn things around in your life.  #enddomesticviolence, # faith #empoweringserenity, #change #turningpoint, #womenempowered #counselors #therapist #survivor

 

Written by Connie L Akins, Licensed Professional Counselor on September 1, 2017

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